These are real instructions that don’t make any sense:
- “Keep away from children” on a bottle of BABY lotion…DUH, isn’t a baby a child?
- “Do not drive after taking medicine” on CHILDREN’S cold and cough chewable tablet…DUH, kids can’t drive!!
- “Do not turn upside down” on the BOTTOM of a cake package…DUH; you have to turn the cake upside down so you can read the directions that tell NOT to turn the cake upside down.
- “Some assembly required” on a 500 piece puzzle…DUH, it’s a PUZZLE.
- “Warning: May contain nuts” on a pack of peanuts…DUH!!!
- “Warning: May cause drowsiness: on a box of SLEEPING pills…DUH…they’re sleeping pills; they’re supposed to make you drowsy so you can sleep.
- “Do not expose to flame” on the side of a lighter…DUH, isn’t that the purpose of a lighter…to make a flame?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Election
I lost my class’s primary election. Our class has formed its own country. I ran for President with the Federalist Party. I only got 2 votes! I know who voted for me. My friend voted for me and, of course, I voted for myself! My other friends in the class couldn’t vote for me, because they belong to the Anti-federalist party. I felt really bad about losing, but I didn’t cry, even though I felt like it. My teacher, Mr. Rich, said that my class was the first in YEARS not to cry! Maybe I’ll win another election some day in the future.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Dyl and the Pen
I hope all of you like this story.
Dyl was a smart boy, but he was a bad blog writer. It was writing time at home, Dyl’s mind had gone blank. So, he slammed on his writing pen, hoping it would write something by itself. Instead, it flew across the air and hit his sister’s dominos, the ones that she had spent hours placing side by side. Click! Click! Click! All the dominoes fell. One soon hit Dyl in the head which started his brain thinking of a story. He started writing.
There was an island where there were dominos and pens. The dominos and pens were friends long ago, but they are now true enemies. Domino legend tells that there was an evil pen that was going around trying to get rid of the dominos by coloring in all of their dots, so the pens could rule the island. But, pen legend says that the dominos used their dots to replace the pen’s sharp points with ball points. What the dominos or the pens didn’t know was there was an evil ink robot named Inkatroid who wanted to rule the island.
Inkatroid loved ink so much, that he had an ink pond right next to his evil lair. One day the ink pond dried up so he went to look for more. He loved doing evil things so much too that when he soon came across some pens, Inkatroid put his evil plot into motion.
Inkatroid found a few pens and sucked the ink out of them. Then, he spit the ink all over a domino’s dots, covering them up forever.
One day, Dyl’s pen saw the evil Inkatroid and saw what he did to pens and dominos. Legend was wrong!! Dyl’s pen is shocked!! So, he went up to a domino and whacked him, because that is how dominos talk. Dyl’s pen explained Inkatroid’s evil doings. The domino understood and told another domino. Soon all the dominos on the island knew and formed an army with the pens. The pens and dominos tricked Inkatroid into sucking down some invisible ink and snap he was erased off the island. The pens and dominos were friends again forever.
Dyl and his pen wrote the story of the defeat of the evil Inkatroid by the pen’s and domino’s army in his journal. He kept the story with him forever.
The End
Dyl was a smart boy, but he was a bad blog writer. It was writing time at home, Dyl’s mind had gone blank. So, he slammed on his writing pen, hoping it would write something by itself. Instead, it flew across the air and hit his sister’s dominos, the ones that she had spent hours placing side by side. Click! Click! Click! All the dominoes fell. One soon hit Dyl in the head which started his brain thinking of a story. He started writing.
There was an island where there were dominos and pens. The dominos and pens were friends long ago, but they are now true enemies. Domino legend tells that there was an evil pen that was going around trying to get rid of the dominos by coloring in all of their dots, so the pens could rule the island. But, pen legend says that the dominos used their dots to replace the pen’s sharp points with ball points. What the dominos or the pens didn’t know was there was an evil ink robot named Inkatroid who wanted to rule the island.
Inkatroid loved ink so much, that he had an ink pond right next to his evil lair. One day the ink pond dried up so he went to look for more. He loved doing evil things so much too that when he soon came across some pens, Inkatroid put his evil plot into motion.
Inkatroid found a few pens and sucked the ink out of them. Then, he spit the ink all over a domino’s dots, covering them up forever.
One day, Dyl’s pen saw the evil Inkatroid and saw what he did to pens and dominos. Legend was wrong!! Dyl’s pen is shocked!! So, he went up to a domino and whacked him, because that is how dominos talk. Dyl’s pen explained Inkatroid’s evil doings. The domino understood and told another domino. Soon all the dominos on the island knew and formed an army with the pens. The pens and dominos tricked Inkatroid into sucking down some invisible ink and snap he was erased off the island. The pens and dominos were friends again forever.
Dyl and his pen wrote the story of the defeat of the evil Inkatroid by the pen’s and domino’s army in his journal. He kept the story with him forever.
The End
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